Monday, May 30, 2016

I Think He's Disappointed In General

I have had many pen names. For many years I also wrote a book on a message board. Many of these are other people quotations. Baldessari. It was about ptsd after having been knocked around. Here it is: Nicolle Elizabeth Post ID: cinderella 6/28/06 19:01 spontaneous healing by dr. andrew weil. true stories about people healing themselves. this basically saved my friend’s life by doing acupuncture. she was house ridden after a traumatic experience and physically ill for a year. now she works for a huge newspaper and laughs. * We’ve been reading this girl’s blog for like, half a year. She had better discover some happiness soon. Yes I am rooting for your crazy ex girlfriend to get happy. * It’s called the quarter-life crisis. I heard the mid-life crisis is worse because you’re older and ache more. Today I am read- ing a book from this early 1900s finishing school I bought at a library yard sale for 50 cents. Apparently, I do everything wrong. * No, 3 weeks doesn’t sound like an uber long time for a ner- vous breakdown. Good for you for quick turnaround time. * I am 22. You spelled engagement wrong. 4 * I thought her dress was beautiful it reminded me of some kind of tragic mudslide. I met this guy last night who refers to himself as Adam the Poet. I am definitely going to start referring to myself as Adam the Poet. He said he is fine with that. * One time I was coming down with a fever but already at the museum and I had a conversation with a photograph of T.S Elliot. He said I was in the right place but I didn’t know what he meant. * People who laugh through exhaling from their nose with their mouths closed shut kind of freak me out. I bet your backyard lacks fireflies or called lightning bugs depend- ing on which part of the world you are in. There is a spe- cial about Blackbeard on television. Sitting on my roof. * A first date? Oh you should totally dress up like a fortune teller who doesn't have any answers. * I leave Monday. We are placing bets on how 5 long I make it. Dying from anxiety is not a good way to spend a Friday night. * Frank O’Hara. The day you know it will be the last I love you is such a weird day. Love is so weird. Jamaica Kincaid wrote about Benna, which is an uptempo Antiguan folk song. It is characterized by lyrics that focused on scandal- ous gossip, it has also been a means of folk communi- cation, spreading news and political commentary across the island, I read that on Wikipedia. The point is who cares if he heard you cheated on him, if he loved you he would have at least asked you about it first before dump- ing you. Post ID: cinderella 8/28/06 10:08 I am here. I live in a house with seven other people and it is a 2 mile walk to campus uphill and I brought my bike but have had to walk my bike up the hill. I skipped all 3 of my classes today actually already and spent the day writ- ing a thesis on James Baldwin. I currently feel like I am in diabetic shock. Tonight, there is a Desperate Housewives themed-party down the street and I’m like, you’re writers this was the best theme for a party you could come up with? I’m not going and everyone here seems to be more expensive than me. One of the roommates up-stairs is already giving me a hard time, from what I can tell he seems to be one of the better writers here. Quandary question quasar, already. “Your beliefs will be the light by which you see, but they will not be what you see and they 6 will not be a substitute for seeing,” —Flannery O’Connor. Good homework day. I am also drinking. * I already lost my campus ID and had to get a new one. * I’m a little confused about the logistics, are you theoreti- cally all that he has? * Upstairs roommate asked me about a class whether I am taking it next semester or not in the kitchen but I ignored him for comedic affect. Reading Chekhov and am getting a cold I can’t believe it’s almost Halloween already. * The thing about Asimov is that he doesn’t go into as much detail as Heinlein at points. I think like, the vision wasn’t there as consistently or something. Wasn’t Hein- lein like, a nazi though? I don’t think that’s an ‘out of the box’ opinion of him. A guy from one of my classes kept asking me if I was Jewish at a party this weekend. When I went to get more beer at the convenience store I also bought one of those 99 cent bags of fried pork rings and then asked him if he wanted any while telling him that yes I am Jewish but actually I wanted to cry. I didn’t eat any though because I am a vegan. 7 * Vintage Book of Contemporary American Fiction edited by Tobias Wolff version might be helpful. I am reading the new A.M. Holmes. It’s actually hilarious in a yuppie adult sort of way but I am liking it. I like Eagan’s sen- tences themselves but Eco is better not that I really understand why you're making this comparison other than the letter E connection. I like David Foster Wallace fine in some ways, but like in every one of my classes, every single guy is trying to write like him and they all say they love him and that is fine but nobody is telling a story, they’re all just pop culture referencing and formatting stupidly and writing the same essay over and over and it’s like they’re all the same guy wanting to be David Foster Wallace and I’m like but wouldn’t David Foster Wallace ask you who are you. Whatever you’ve heard about poets is true. These people are nuts. It’s a Tuesday and they are all drinking martinis while playing squash and it is two in the afternoon. Holidays On Ice by David Sedaris will be the best thing David Sedaris will ever write. He will get way more famous for other things but that one will be his best, and I will be the only person to read it. I baked a pie and called my friend and when she heard me coughing she suggested I get new vitamins so now I have this bottle of 32 mineral complexities which will * * 8 probably not help and this guy will still be mean to me I bet. This American Life. There is no heat in our entire house. I bet it’s warm in evil upstairs guy’s room because he is on the top floor. Jolly Oracle Seeks Existentialism and a space heater I cannot stop coughing. * I am reading Nabokov. Audrey Hepburn black skinny pants and a black turtleneck. I wrote a note which is now on the inside of my closet it says grow a tougher skin about this it is the only way to survive. I drank Nyquil last night and watched tv on mute. Just now while I was making tea in the kitchen upstairs evil guy was there and he started singing some stupid song really loudly and I turned to him and said, “You’re like really bumming me out” and walked away. * I think the issue here lays in the definition of epiphany and how pronounced you want it to be. * NPR. Dude, Don Delilo is my neighbor, the martinis squash poets said they saw him walking with groceries but I'm not 100% sure because they were drunk and dehydrated from playing squash. PJ Harvey lecture tickets are Ebaying right now for 300 dollars apiece. The poets said they were haggling with the guy and got them for 50 bucks instead. Who knew poets were so efficient? Also one of them totally gets his dinner from the dumpster behind this really fancy res- 9 taurant which I think is totally awesome. Cigarettes, a cup of oolong tea and anxiety are my lunch today. I’ve ruined my costly pen. * Louise Gluck. Get psyched for new living situation 2k6 packing to move sucks. Michael Gondry at Deitch. Jo- nah Winter. Clementines. * Someone broke the glass part of my French press but didn’t leave a note or anything. Commercialized, depress- ing, dynamic media, townfolk, depressing. I am measur- ing the rest of this semester by centimeters by my newly apparent stress induced hair line recession, another late night. I am trading rooms to an apartment near campus with a girl from one of my classes. She said one of the roommates goes through her stuff all the time. Another girl in one of my classes wore a shirt that said, “I make shit up” today, that was amazing. I am considering join- ing a quilter’s guild does that make me a spinster? Post ID: cinderella 1/3/07 02:10 Blindness by Saramago. Purple quarry sounds like 1,000 Mon-tanian lum- berers. Chase it like cantaloupe, fall from monuments. * 10 “She would sleep with her husband in the morning, and then the other man after lunch. She would lay in their hotel bed for hours after whispering, ‘french film. French film.” —Amy Hempel. Worst summer job I ever had was working on the loading dock of a bookstore. At dawn me and all these work for hire guys just carried boxes which could have been awesome but it wasn’t. I want to start my life over again and lecture on this exact kind of thing yes- terday. In this new class, this professor was talking about teaching in an economically lower classroom. I won’t go into it but I thought her variables were off. I have to write a poetry ballad for class. * Fever of 101, missing Vivianne Gornick’s talk on memoir. She’s making art over there and I’m still wait- ing for mine. New apartment blew a fuse for the sec- ond time last night and I woke up just now freezing and without any electricity. * Obviously he didn’t know of the Jespersen method as it wasn’t labeled as such yet, but the theory behind it, I just don’t think Shakespeare was placing words to fit into a four degrees of stress pattern. Soviet cartoons. I like The Odys- sey better because I think the symbols involved are more enchanting it’s a good early reader suggestion I think. * 11 Someone wanted something, someone asked a question, a question critical of their want, someone gave an answer. The pacing in Joyce’s The Dead shows intense control over the whole thing like when he’s showing the monot- ony of the family his sentences just read so slowly it’s like peanut butter plus when he does that third omniscient eye thing at the end it’s like, the start of modernism or something. There is a wasps den brewing in my nasal cavity. Mao. Four lifetimes ago, a crater in the carton of eternal fortitude freethrow courage. * This guy handed me a flier on the subway that says, “Nihilism, all things go to nothing?” wow Britney Spears shaved her head today, apparently. It reminds me of that line Liv Tyler had in That Thing You Do when she sniffled and said, “Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.” * Tennessee Williams. Eleanor Roosevelt. Tina Turner. I saw evil roommate guy in the library. Speak of the devil. He had a friend who was chewing on an un-lit tobacco pipe in the library, no less. He’s an asshole, he’s an assh- ole, they’re assholes together. I saw him later in the day holding hands with a lady who isn’t his girlfriend who lives far away and I said to him “What’s up,” and he 12 said, “It’s a commentary on facebook as a whole,” which makes me wonder if he saw me posting on my blog when I lived with him but that is too far-fetched, he was probably making a joke, which was actually hilarious like if everyone who were friends on facebook held hands every time they saw each other. though I feel so bad for his girlfriend. * Tennyson. My friend from home just texted me, “I spent the weekend spooning with some annoying ac- tor.” “I spent the weekend in St. Vincent’s with a kid- ney infection,” I just texted her back. Morphine is a beautiful thing. I read Camus’ The Plague in the wait- ing room at the ER for comedic affect. They made me take so many stupid tests. Our friend the atom. I dreamt a citrus tree grew out from my kidneys last night. Ask another medicine woman. * Stephen Dobyns. The new apartment smells awful con- stantly but I don’t want to be like, “Hi I am your new roommate, why does it smell bad?” I have to write a son- net again for homework but for a different class. There’s a lecture on HPV here this Friday and all the undergrads are talking about it like it’s hip, or like a car or something like, “Well I’ve had mine for 2 years now.” * 13 She’s famous for being a female icon who isn’t a tragedy. I have close to zero formative technical education in po- etry so maybe this sonnet re-visit is a good thing. I am often telling myself I am more confused than I am. There is only love. Time signature//this is a blog post//too deep//good evening. Post ID: cinderella 1/5/07 11:12 Mark my words, I am going to sell this book into a screenplay and then we are going out for a soda. How much money do you think Henry Rollins has and does he donate it? Henry Rollins how much do black t-shirts cost? Quantum tunneling still in my nose, one year I got a purse it was a really nice purse. Rita Dove. Is artistic longing a food group? Lucky Star? Post ID: cinderella 1/10/07 15:09 “We slid back into lucid consciousness, or rather, first- order reality. The onset of awakening was slow and de- liberate. This precautionary measure was installed to prevent users from entering a state of cognitive shock or what is colloquially known as “Mind Lock.” Mind Lock is what happens when cognitive states as a whole express a negative-feedback loop. With all the proper devices implanted in the in- teresting arrays of our individually particular stock of parts, Mental Travel was efficacious notwithstanding their lack of sophistication and elegance. The other Travellers and I lacked any anthropomorphic quality. That always bothered me about Mystech temples. They 14 can seem so cold and inhuman. I’d rather Travel using my own machines. The sensorium chamber is where Mental Travellers come down with eager minds and circuits to have our doors of perception thrown wide open, to ‘see everything as it were infinite.’ We were not fearful of the neurologi- cal repercussions of the process. On the contrary, we were excited to plunge ourselves into the perilous yet gorgeous heights associated with the most intense and powerful trips. But set and setting were crucial for a positive expe- rience. After all, we are still human. Some users would rather live their lives in the pages of a novel which serves to resign themselves to forfeit ex- periences of life outside amidst the frays of human soci- ety. It’s all a lie that you will fine eternal happiness inside. I think you find happiness in knowing both. Christolo- gists say it is a sin, another which to start a campaign for human ignorance. I think amidst the frays of society a person would rather be alive.” -I think it’s like a Dali quote or a Scientology essay or something. It’s a theory applied when painting, that’s all I got. * This is from my notes from my astronomy elective today: Q: Are we not listening? A: We are sound. * If you want readers you need an evocative title well, in recorded history that we know of anyways. What type of paper? Desperately Seeking Sudan. Get it? Instead of 15 Desperately Seeking Susan? Nevermind that is a terrible title I take it back. I have a chapbook of poems due which I am binding myself. My hands hurt. It’s been a semes- ter of really competitive crazy people and like exhaust- ing emotional ethereal classes. George Bailey lassos the moon. Heart disease is the number one killer of women in the country but I think it’s from being disappointed. It feels like there are all these toxins in my system. Jorie Graham has this lecture about when you write some- thing down it’s no longer a part of you anymore and it scared the shit out of me. I will be a hologram. Post ID: cinderella 1/19/07 20:20 Weird, as of midnight I will be 23. You spelled apol- og y wrong. * Reference librarians always have really cold hands but are very helpful. My new roommate is reading Henry Miller aloud to herself in the living room. Where is your sense of adventure. I have like 25 pages of new fiction due in 8 hours which I have printed but what if they hate me it is a novel told in short stories, some are only one sentence. There is a bird trying to hatch out of an 8 ball in the back of my neck because I have been staring at this computer screen for so long, ow. Anything with coal mines is awe- some. In my undergrad in the freshman dorm, this guy Joe had a triple room but literally nobody else showed up so he had the entire room to himself all semester. So he comes up to my room one night and he goes, “Uh there’s 16 a guy in my room,” so we go back downstairs and sitting on the couch in his suite was this dude drinking whiskey and watching tv. So I was like, “Hey guy, what are you doing here?” and he didn’t respond so Joe slept in a sleeping bag on our friend’s floor while the guy just lived in there for a week. He showered in the dorm showers, and literally would walk to the gas station and get snacks and sometimes he literally started crying while watching tv so we were like, this is nuts who is he how does he have keys? So finally we went in there and were like, “Do you go here?” and he proceeded to tell us the story of how he moved here from The Keys to ask his girlfriend to mar-ry him but when he got to her apartment the new guy she was living with came out and was like, “Sorry, man. Here’s the keys to my dorm room, I’m not going there but the room’s already paid for” and gave him our college dorm’s address. So he was like miserable and thanks man and the girlfriend wouldn’t even come out to talk to him and that’s when he slid in like he was supposed to be at our school and just started living in the dorm and Joe slept on our friend’s floor the entire semester I have to go my writing is getting workshopped. Post ID: cinderella 2 4/11/07 03:49 Under the new parade law, gatherings of 50 or more in New York require a permit, the paper says today. Jazz is an excellent thing. Thelonious Monk is an excellent monk. Kurt Vonnegut was a unifying grumpy spirit in American literature, he was a pioneer and he will be missed. * 17 I feel like I often feel dumber in a room full of men than I do a room full of women but I also think that in terms of intellectualism men know more about very specific subjects whereas women are more ma- ture intellectually. Also, I often gravitate toward men who are intellectually wise but have this the- gas-tank-is running-on-empty sadness about them. I am a sucker for depressed people, maybe. This is the second time the new apartment has been flooded in two months. We are in a hotel, and we had to get rescued by the fire department. It was terrifying be- cause they were shouting at us through a loudspeaker from the truck “Don’t go in the water, the water may be electrified,” and we were all standing on our front stoop huddled just like, watching the water rise. I can’t stop shaking, also like everything I own will be moldy. I took my laptop and my purse and everything else is still in there. When I moved in the lake in the back was frozen so I never thought to ask, ‘Hi is this in a flood zone?” Also I think my sneakers smell like gasoline. I wish I had a waffle and some tea. Or gin. I could use a drink. It’s all just sort of sinking in now. Get it, sinking, like in a flood? * Everyone will not stop talking about George Saun- ders and it’s like, yes, he’s funny but okay. We stayed in the hotel a week and then they said we could move back in but it’s disgusting there’s mud every- where and whatever the smell was is now combined with like waste smell so I made them let me out of 18 the lease. The semester is over in a month and now I literally have nowhere to stay so I spent two nights sleeping in one of the study rooms in the library and then I got a rental car and moved everything out my- self. It took 4 carloads of bringing stuff to a class- mate’s where she is letting me stay in her dormroom on the couch. I have bronchitis, I think. I've been shaking a lot from this but I didn’t cry once yet. Which might not be a good thing. * Critical Paranoia: Salvador Dali by Breton Salvador Dali developed the concept of Critical Paranoia for establishing a creative state of self-induced psycho- sis. “Paranoia makes use of the external world to impose the obsessive notion with the disturbing particularity of making valid the reality of this notion for others...The reality of the external world serves as an illustration and a proof, and is put in the service of the reality of our mind,” (Dali). “It is a question of speculating ardently on that property of uninterrupted transformation of any object on which the paranoiac activity seizes; in other words, the ultra-confusional activity which takes its source in the obsessive idea...This uninterrupted transformation permits the paranoiac to regard the very images of the external world as unstable and transitory, if not as sus- pect, and it is, disturbingly, in his power to impose the reality of this impression on others.” —Breton. I think I have this. * 19 The girl who I’ve been staying with here at school since the flood has roommates and they are in the kitchen talking about how much they hate her because she is so messy. That is weird. I feel like if seaweed had a personality it would be so nice. When I was eight, I decided one day to try to go down a laundry chute and I got stuck and had to be rescued by the fire department and I can’t stop thinking about it all the time today. * Last night I dreamt evil roommate was here transcribing Bach into letters and words and phrases and writing it down for his novel and I was so worried he was going to get famous and be mean to me but then I was walking on the wall of a fountain and I woke up saying the word Isotope over and over again. * What do Teresian Carmelites believe again? Synergetic ideal. My classmate who I was staying with has been de- ported. She is from South Africa and she went to Ireland this week to take photos for her thesis and when she tried to come back here they made her go to South Africa in- stead. Her roommates are being fine to me, though. Sup- posedly she will be back in another few days. * “Forces Of Nature Martin, Eden, and the moonfish are all significantly con- 20 nected by forces of nature. The moonfish, as explained by Martin, come out at night, drawn to the moon by an un- seen force to feed at the edge of the docks: ‘The moon’s got a force, and it pulls and pulls the insides of these fish. All they got is moon and minds” Forces seem to be at work within Martin as he is captivated by the beauty of the fish and their ability to stir within him memory. Eden acknowledges these forces working in humankind and declares to Martin that are forces guiding both their lives. Ultimately, these forces draw Eden and Martin to each other and create a union with the power to trans- form and heal them both.” * Kafka died a penniless lawyer, not everybody knows that. I mean, he also burnt all of his girlfriends love let- ters because she was a better writer than he was, but still. Kafka is important in literature for a few reasons, he used metaphor in a political way not many in his position/time had the nerve to do but also in a way that is now known as fabulist fiction, derivative of fables. Fabulist fiction usurps that which is out of the ordinary everyday and places it in the ordinary thus making an extraordinary situation, often times an object or part of technology is involved. For it to be fabulist, there must be some sort of question into morality, specifi- cally, however, fabulist fiction also encompasses taking that which is ordinary and putting it in an extraordi- nary situation, such as a flood. Example: a bug is a very ordinary thing, but in Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, we see a lifesized bug, which is an extraordinary thing. I 21 happen to also believe in the fates, who control things such as water. * I went to see the Patty Smith/Sam Wagstaff/Robert Ma-plethorpe documentary at the Tribeca Film Festival to-day, it was amazing. It’s a man’s world though. The fact that America is constantly obsessed with characters who are sick and dying, they like, need maternal comfort. Also I felt like a giant flood was going to come get me from the east river. Post ID: cinderella3 4/25/07 16:27 Things just came together in such a strange way in my head. Worst CGI thunderstorm ever. It’s the changing that’s always ruining things. It’s called enjambment. I got into an argument about feminism with a professor in class today and he kept getting madder and mad- der and he finally shouted, “If it weren’t for—as you say—bourgeous people like Gloria Steinem, I wouldn’t have been able to let you into this class. Then every- one laughed. * 22 Post ID: cinderella 8/31/07 18:43 I am on a sabbatical from the flood campus. Post ID: cinderella 9/1/07 05:35 I've been writing a lot more now that I am away from the flood place but still shaky. 23 Post ID: cinderella 9/3/07 18:29 I am going to the beach with Marta from Vienna who is looking for a husband to get a green card. She tried to get me to see a psychic. Same as it ever was, this is not my beautiful house, I ask myself, how did I get here? Marta says she will hug me if I get scared of the ocean now. Post ID: cinderella 9/6/07 11:24 I am in LA now. My friend saved me. I tried to take as many things as I could from our house, and my hands were shaking and I literally went to the airport with my fieldhockey stick and then it was confiscated at the flight gate and I had to watch while it got thrown out. I tried to tell them maybe I could put it in my suitcase but my luggage had already been taken by the anti- terrorism people. Post ID: cinderella 9/8/07 07:23 One of the people here seems to have left a miniature sized accordion on the table next to my hammock. * Rode bikes margaritas wrote, sunset. On the pier it looks like the start of the world. Today sucked. Brod- sky. I am reading The Book Of Ruth for the first time. Everybody here has the same story. * 24 I have figs I have little to no desire to get out of bed today. I want to make furniture out of my house but I mean out of the house itself, like I would remove planks of wood here and there and make them into furniture that I would then have in the actual house. Post ID: cinderella 9/10/07 15:56 I don’t believe in fate anymore. Post ID: cinderella 9/11/07 07:35 It just occurred to me that Arnold Schwartzenegger is now my governor. Post ID: cinderella 9/21/07 14:54 Today I walked barefoot on rainy California grass. I’ve never seen rain in California before. There is, at least, some magic here. Post ID: cinderella 9/26/07 04:43 I just got an email saying that I won the national out- standing haiku contest. It was through a poetry jour- nal called The Aurorean. Post ID: cinderella 9/27/07 13:53 I now work in a hula hoop factory. I physically make hula hoops. The owner of the company was on The 25 Today Show today. We had it on in the background while we were working. These hips were made for hula hooping. Post ID: cinderella 9/29/07 14:50 It’s 7 here and apparently, I am actually supposedly attending what is known as “a Val party.” My friend Dan is making me. Post ID: cinderella 10/18/07 13:27 I have very little to say lately. I’m swimming to Alaska. At the end of The Royal Tenenbaums when Ben Stiller says, “It’s been a weird year,” I’m at that point now. One of the roommates here looks like an eclipse. He never leaves the house without doing yoga, he has a twin brother. * I keep having dreams about these swimming pools and then I’m at a bar and the bartender is talking to me but I can’t hear him. * Everyone is still talking about the writer’s strike. I am packing it in, I’m flying back east. I will be home for Thanksgiving. We stayed until we could no longer we fell flat on our backs and tattooed a heart over our broken hearts who is the we in this sentence? 26 Post ID: cinderella 10/02/07 13:30 Controversy surrounding the possessive apostrophe after names which end in S was first dealt with in the bible. James’ Gate? No. A 60 watt bulb may still be a 60 watt bulb in blue, and electrified water. Post ID: cinderella 11/05/07 06:39 Imagine not being a whatever you are. * Post ID: cinderella 1/07/08 12:34 I’m down in Baltimore paying off love credit cards via plumbing supplies. I feel like I’ve almost failed everything. Hey don’t worry, I somehow managed to find safety all on my own. I am a lot of miles away from a coast, wait no I'm not. Post ID: cinderella 1/20/08 10:41 I am 24 today. Show tonight, volunteering at the bike collective on Sunday, dinner at my boss’ at the hardware store on Sunday night. * 27 I am a one woman fire hydrant. I’ve been really into reggae lately because it’s good to listen to while cook- ing. I think I may have discovered a new emotion I didn’t have called Mathpoetics. My friend Kent is doing a scratch ticket trying to change our lives while I research avocados. I am waiting to hear back if they will let me back into grad school for next fall. I asked if I could come back this semester but they said I should wait and have the full year instead of coming back like literally this week and joining the spring semester late so now I feel like I’m stuck in Baltimore forever. * I want to write a novel about two characters simultane- ously living on identical conscious planes but in com- pletely different lives. When one drinks coffee, so does the other in their life independently. I think it’s a nod to Einstein in that it presupposes the conscious has more than just one reality at any given moment and that man, at any given moment, may be living more than one situa- tion, paying particular attention to the obvious generally accepted theories of conscious ie while typing this, I am hungry, I am sad, I am lost. I want to marry a lighthouse keeper and then write by his light all day. the other day I dreamt I wrote the most beautiful sentence in the world and I can’t remember it now and I think it may be killing me, actually. 28 Post ID: cinderella 1/27/08 16:04 I met a Crust punk today named Bradbury who has staples in his forehead from falling down an elevator shaft. We watched the commentary on Reality Bites at my friend’s house at like 4 this morning. Post ID: cinderella 1/31/08 05:56 Calvino, all of Godard’s Breathless, the last scene in the Betty Davis version of The Letter where she stabs herself in the stomach, when the guys help Donna Reid fix up the house in the rain in It’s A Wonderful Life. Post ID: cinderella 2/14/08 07:24 Happy Valentine’s Day. We went up the down escalator//we tried to go//but it was all closed off//we said where are we//we got over it. Post ID: cinderella 03/17/08 04:44 I’m having some slight issues involving gravity, the room moves when I move. I have no health insurance andand lessthanlessthan greaterthangreaterthan equalsequals. Post ID: cinderella 04/03/08 17:37 Lawrence Ferlinghetti. There was a period of time when I was convinced that if the clock changed to a number going upward while I was thinking about something that it was true. I fall on my heart regularly. 29 Riding bikes in the living room. Aristotelian method of storytelling. Is it an emotion? If it’s an emotion what’s an emotion I’ve forgotten them. More on this as it doesn’t happen. Post ID: cinderella 06/02/08 18:41 Borges. I am subletting my friend’s apartment in Brook- lyn. Last night, I attended a bar which has a giant life-sized connect four. It was 110 here today and my new roommate who is really nice shouted at a cockroach in our kitchen. Post ID: cinderella 07/11/08 13:38 I got to hang out with this famous poet today and I was so nervous so I asked her, “What are you working on lately?” and she said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. I don’t think heaven is up, I think it’s sideways.” And then we sat there quietly because I felt kind of scared of her. * Things were really nice for like a month and now I can’t stop shaking. * I’m not explaining this right. I can’t stop shaking and I don’t want to go to work. I can’t concentrate on more than like five sentences at a time today. What plant has little leaves that look like hearts on them my roommate has some in the fridge is it wheatgrass? I can’t eat. 30 Other things happened too. He did other things. I don’t want to talk about it. I told my friend but also I was crying a lot. I have been sitting in the bathtub without any water in it a lot. Post ID: cinderella 07/24/08 07:35 Houllebecq. If you’re using electricity you are not an an- archist. I keep thinking I'm seeing scary guy everywhere. I fell off my bike in Union Square today because the tube popped and then I had to ride on the packed subway with it and I forgot I was wearing my helmet the entire time and wore my helmet the whole L ride apparently. It’s thundering out did you know that when lightning strikes sand it makes glass? Some band is playing in a loft down the street from here I think they are going to be really big everyone loves them. I wrote a poem involving zombies today based on an ob-scure civil war fable. It is going to be published in some journal. Post ID: cinderella 08/01/08 09:02 My sublet is over I’m moving again just down the street on Bushwick now maybe scary guy won’t know my address. I start my new internship in a week. * * This is the second time this month I have found an exploded kiwi in my purse and I have no idea how it got there. * 31 I am going with my new roommates to an outdoor film screening in Socrates Sculpture Park. I am bringing wine. Post ID: cinderella 08/06/08 14:47 There are beets in this falafel. It was only $2.50 though. I can still barely eat also the best burrito place is definitely on Lorimer. Post ID: cinderella 08/24/08 16:53 I’m wrong about a lot of things even as I breathe this very second. * I also think King Midas was an alcoholic. Colloquialism encompassing omniscient will do. Why does english lack a second person plural. I wish it was next week so my student loans would come in and I could buy a bed in- stead of sleeping on a sheet on this linoleum floor. I have a fever I think it’s the flu, actually. I am contagious sitting on the floor and there is a party in my living room and some DJ is playing Dan Deacon. I wish I could go out there and meet people in real life. * The train ride up to campus always seems to take forever and sometimes it feels like I walking toward my doom. I will become more New Yorker. 32 Post ID: cinderella 02/25/09 18:36:15 COME OVER THERES A PARTY OFF LORIMER BLAH Post ID: cinderella 02/26/09 07:57:48 i’m really into cordy ryman right now he’s robert ry- man’s son and will ryman’s brother. wills show opens this summer its going to be incredible i got to see it recently. terry winters newest prints are top notch. kiki smith is my fave she is such a babe. you know who sucks? joanna pousette-dart, that chic blows but dumas blows mindz Post ID: cinderella 02/27/09 19:10:52 did you read millhauser yet. * where should i go dancing tonight Post ID: cinderella 02/27/09 19:49:27 “Love is a battlefield” words overused in a resume 33 Post ID: cinderella 03/02/09 05:54:47 knew a thing or two about industrialism. Post ID: cinderella 03/07/09 09:20:08 i woke up at a writer's house wearing a t-shirt which wasn’t mine this morning. The writer wasn’t there though. It wasn’t his t-shirt also. I totally was in love with the writer I didn't spend the night with all night. He was staying on the couch and I could barely talk to him. Post ID: cinderella 03/11/09 12:07:35 if you want to get meta read ray carver’s cathedral while listening to this like dark side of the moon and wizard of oz, man. I'm making fun of you. Post ID: cinderella 03/11/09 16:44:56 i have never gotten over any breakup. my life is a descending pile of the inability to let go of water. 34 Post ID: cinderella 03/18/09 11:48:46 it was too weird and loud and violent for me and i hated all of it. Post ID: cinderella 03/19/09 21:28:49 my life is a lolfactory for everyone else. Post ID: cinderella 03/23/09 22:19:24 where are you in life come over i’m baking vegan pumpkin/ carrot cake cupcakes and have beer. Post ID: cinderella 03/26/09 09:56:54 i came to get down. Post ID: cinderella 03/26/09 11:30:08 hi that was me that was you Post ID: cinderella 04/07/09 19:07:10 heidegger, trendy with the sensuals. ah, protorhetoric, how you distract me. William Blake. Post ID: cinderella 04/07/09 20:41:26 there’s this legendary heroin addict in the les named Demeter who looks like a really scary frankenstein but gives really good advice based on his Umass Philosophy M.A. studies 35 Post ID: cinderella 04/12/09 16:21:48 actually i am thinking about farming all summer, this may lead to apple selling but i have to be back in brook- lyn for fall. thanks hire me. Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 07:28:01 no, don’t get an obscure master’s. if you’re doing a mas- ter’s do it in something like trade. like librarian type shit. otherwise you’re screwed. if you’re doing a phd go some- where where they pay you. and be prepared to “start” your life around 40. Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 07:43:40 can’t sit still and the stupidity. Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 07:46:09 i heard he races bikes now. Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 07:48:40 i mean, the point really should be to learn something. that’s why people should go to school. to study? Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 07:50:56 he's working on the debate between living and exploitive non-fiction research daily. 36 Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 08:05:34 deeper shade of soul Post ID: cinderella 04/14/09 08:26:13 i love the book about salt. i love it a lot. Post ID: cinderella 04/15/09 13:09:28 40 stories donald barthelme Post ID: cinderella 04/18/09 06:13:46 the boy i’m always breaking up with has an opening in his loft. he spent the security deposit and now has 48 hours to come up with it you should move in there. Someone. Post ID: cinderella 04/20/09 09:33:56 WHAT ethan embry in can’t hardly wait is the love of my life. dear preston, where are you love, me Post ID: cinderella 04/20/09 09:58:14 there are conflicting accounts some people loved him and some people thought he was really pretentious Post ID: cinderella 04/20/09 12:10:08 honey that’s fort green not bed-stuy 37 Post ID: cinderella 04/20/09 12:10:42 i keep breaking up with him because he can’t keep it in his pants Post ID: cinderella 04/22/09 08:22:42 darwin argument ala woah i made a circle. Post ID: cinderella 04/28/09 15:18:52 so i got a hairline fracture in my foot in january pulling this creepy wooden canvas painting out of a dumpster. and they gave me an air cast and crutches because of where the fracture was and it was so tiny they thought maybe it wasnt there for sure anyway. and i never used the crutches, because girl, you ever try to walk through grand central at rush hour try being 5 feet tall on crutches, uh-uh i don’t think so. so this caused it to hurt a bunch. and then it was kinda fine. now today my foot is really swollen and my adorable biggest toe is tingly. coinciden- tally it’s wicked hot out, i’m thinking is really the cause like air pressure maybe or something say yes so i don’t have to deal with this i’m busy? I did write “good country people” on the crutches after that flannery oconnor story about the girl with the wooden leg but am the only nerd who thought it was funny. Post ID: cinderella 04/28/09 15:25:58 i’m not trying to lol @ your issue but i’m not sure i get the original question 38 Post ID: cinderella 05/03/09 17:48:38 i take 4 subways and a bus it costs 10 dollars a day. I realized that I can't drink water anymore and am now dizzy a lot. Post ID: cinderella 05/05/09 16:35:25 long version prob no shortened version prob yes Post ID: cinderella 05/07/09 14:08:33 THE IRON SCAR, THE TRANS SIBERIAN RAIL- ROAD IS STILL NOT AS COLD AS Post ID: cinderella 05/07/09 16:03:32 “What Remains of a Rembrandt Torn Into Four Equal Pieces and Flushed Down the Toilet: an essay on Jacques Derrida’s thoughts on Jean Genet’s work, by Jean Genet” Post ID: cinderella 05/07/09 16:18:36 roommate number annoying ho stop having sex in our livingroom with your boyfriend desert: final papers due monday all nighter Post ID: cinderella 05/12/09 11:08:16 tolerance for foolishness: i am that foolishness 39 Post ID: cinderella 05/13/09 19:22:32 please, playas, hitherto, i rhyme. Post ID: cinderella 05/13/09 19:22:52 but i’m making time, poppet. i’m making time sugar time trampoline time whirlpool time Post ID: cinderella 05/17/09 19:22:53 Art in a gym Post ID: cinderella 05/18/09 16:33:22 beer in shower because you have a deadline and aren’t sure you’re going to make it so instead shampoo mohawk time. Post ID: cinderella 05/20/09 15:32:43 i still hate that you stopped i remember when you were a poet, poet. Post ID: cinderella 05/22/09 08:48:40 i have a cockroach the size of a tennis ball salsa-ing in my kitchen his name is marv Post ID: cinderella 05/22/09 16:03:44 i want this first book to get picked up so i can have 40 some folding money to write this other novel which will then let me write the third novel both of which are pretty much mapped out can this happen does god read Post ID: cinderella 05/23/09 11:09:18 its not that new york isnt fun it is its just too much fun and i’m seeing myself getting a little how you say water treading already Post ID: cinderella 05/23/09 11:10:18 i used to really want 3.14 as a knuckle tattoo. pie and pi and a neverending number Post ID: cinderella 05/23/09 16:08:46 my roommate just walked out of his room wearing a bowler hat and a striped t-shirt i am still lol’ing. ohhhhh- hhhhhh somebodys going somewhere hippppppp Post ID: cinderella 05/23/09 16:09:19 i’m writing 20 pages or bust 41 Post ID: cinderella 05/23/09 16:40:55 people loved that last time. people being me. Post ID: cinderella 05/25/09 18:58:55 nice restaurants don’t involve televisions Post ID: cinderella 05/25/09 21:59:31 no beer til solstice i prefer the complicated existential longing approach this works great the guy then always ends up seeing somebody else and i can continue on my way writing Post ID: cinderella 05/27/09 08:44:49 delete that m dash stet the ampersand Post ID: cinderella 06/03/09 17:21:39 best fucking thing of lifetime 42 Post ID: cinderella 06/03/09 20:30:11 i am very excited its getting a print run of 1,500 copies Post ID: cinderella 06/07/09 07:38:25 tonight is a lecture on the translation cannon in the cur- rent literary landscape if anyone wants to go let me know you have to wear something fancy Post ID: cinderella 06/07/09 07:55:45 that sounds excellent i would love to own a shack which purveys semi affordable cupcakes someday, ac- tually somewhere near a beach like on martha’s vine- yard or something where i can paint lavender to match my growing lavender on my white picket fence which houses my sustainable shack of cupcakes i built myself, yes, i can see it now. nic’s nut bars for everyone. Post ID: cinderella 06/07/09 08:02:14 omg we watched this last week and i cannot stop quoting it everywhere. YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA. Post ID: cinderella 06/08/09 06:35:30 don’t be late for your fate 43 Post ID: cinderella 06/08/09 10:30:01 i’m stopping i’m just back at this whole logistics, truth and logic part. Post ID: cinderella 06/08/09 15:40:48 my favorite pavel is coco chanel Post ID: cinderella 06/10/09 06:46:08 furthermore i take offense to your use of the words trashy and unemployed as a gauge of character like, classism is so neanderthal the woman stands for a living and by stands i mean stands in the real way, like upright, as a person. Post ID: cinderella 06/10/09 17:51:37 the one where marge goes to the book signing at the mall and stands up and asks a question in the audience. Post ID: cinderella 06/11/09 08:29:19 It’s like drinking firewood Post ID: cinderella 06/11/09 09:33:10 i’m a baker for a living now don’t sweat the technique 44 Post ID: cinderella 06/15/09 14:47:18 FRIENDS SPEAK THE TRUTH ABOUT DRESSES Post ID: cinderella 06/15/09 14:48:43 draconian take on beckett, duder. Post ID: cinderella 06/15/09 16:45:50 Well, writing was the only thing i could ever do Post ID: cinderella 06/16/09 11:02:28 have you read name of the rose? Post ID: cinderella 06/16/09 11:18:45 so this brutally hot bike messenger came into my work to pick up an order and later in the day, people told me he was sitting outside across the street, and I looked out and he was and there were some other brutally hot bike messengers sitting with him and he had one of them mes- senger via walking in a rose and a note for me that said, “for the girl who probably has sore feet” this actually happened today. In my life. 45 Post ID: cinderella 06/21/09 19:48:20 *i not is Post ID: cinderella 06/21/09 20:17:57 you should read blake butlers book about the inside of the house, which is like an updated translation. Post ID: cinderella 06/27/09 05:15:21 he just slowed down ‘one more chance, the remix’ and came out to play it with tears in his eyes Post ID: cinderella 06/28/09 21:58:50 don’t like when people admonish others with “stay positive” Post ID: cinderella 07/02/09 16:54:06 I’m in love with him. Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 11:38:08 my friend just got back from egypt she said some guy tried to convince her to go to morocco Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 12:18:14 that face writing is the best thing i’ve ever seen 46 Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 12:38:39 ooooh and the eels are listed next to this on the right hand column Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 12:46:38 no john, i never asked that i asked about non soy re- lated protein Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 12:52:58 im one of the 100 subjects of this guys phd im still a little confused about the question Post ID: cinderella 07/18/09 15:59:47 apparently, for 2500 dollars i can get a phd in channel- ling auras i may actually do this Post ID: cinderella 07/20/09 07:51:14 She’s one of the saddest characters of the last 20 years Post ID: cinderella 07/20/09 19:57:58 i always wanted to do a one woman noise thing called “parts of birds/uterine” but there's so much electricity. 47 Post ID: cinderella 07/22/09 14:32:05 i’m sorry but fuck you on a myriad of levels is that six words Post ID: cinderella 08/23/09 22:49:27 my life is a garage sale have my heart half off sunday sun- day sunday you buy Post ID: cinderella 08/23/09 22:54:49 wait 67% goodnight Post ID: cinderella 08/23/09 23:27:56 The Century of the Self Post ID: cinderella 08/25/09 23:11:05 sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don’t Post ID: cinderella 08/25/09 23:12:41 trill 48 Post ID: cinderella 08/29/09 20:13:18 scalfa tessina fortuna it means ‘get away from me you’re bad luck’ in some dialogue of some version of Italian Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 12:34:05 brimming with brevity Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 13:36:34 white dudes and their shifty eyes and their existential want Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 18:13:14 can we skype me into this? Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 19:58:20 you don’t find there to be a kind of charm to the iron skillet and open fire, though? i find it charming. Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 20:53:01 It’s mostly just old punk kids who are now paid interns or something Post ID: cinderella 09/01/09 22:25:03 lorrie moore has a new novel out. this might be better than eternal push-ups. 49 Post ID: cinderella 09/02/09 21:40:38 the planet to the right of the moon is venus guys Post ID: cinderella 09/02/09 21:40:59 YELLIN’ VIA HOLOGRAM Post ID: cinderella 09/03/09 12:49:27 oh god if i were a ninja things would be so better Post ID: cinderella 09/07/09 10:26:59 so into grey monochromes Post ID: cinderella 09/07/09 10:30:08 thrifty holding on to a good piece, i respect it. Post ID: cinderella 09/07/09 10:34:47 death to infidel germs 50 Post ID: cinderella 09/13/09 19:36:42 i wish i were seeing it, i would see it so hard. Post ID: cinderella 09/13/09 23:46:41 i want to go for a bike ride so bad but our neighborhood road situation blowsim calling either boyfriends after i finish this paragraph Post ID: cinderella 09/13/09 23:56:43 sagittarius - present tense. they really hold a grudge. Post ID: cinderella 09/15/09 11:29:30 i like boys who have tiny beer guts you know the kind they are cute Post ID: cinderella 09/16/09 00:03:43 my friend is best friends with her best friend. Post ID: cinderella 09/17/09 14:00:28 no, baudelaire is not crap. 51 Post ID: cinderella 09/17/09 22:03:40 hugs yo hugs I really really need a hug. Post ID: cinderella 09/19/09 09:08:55 Did you really buy a Kindle? Post ID: cinderella 09/19/09 23:12:34 do you realize you have been consistently grumpy for nearly 4 years Post ID: cinderella 09/20/09 22:32:55 Nice article on “micropatronage” or whatever you want to call it. Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 10:57:56 It’s ruining my life sort of actually Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 11:15:13 Having Flannery O’Connor as your Facebook friend 52 Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 21:59:31 she just wants you to know who she is, fishtank. Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 22:15:47 i’ve been wearing a bill and teds excellent adventure tshirt off an on all week. Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 22:34:37 myth is real Post ID: cinderella 09/24/09 22:35:22 there was this 12 maidens under the moon chinese music record i used to fall asleep to ill ask what it’s called Post ID: cinderella 09/25/09 16:31:41 people are paying five dollars a person to see me and four other writers read fiction here in brooklyn if anyone would like to go who isn’t on the spam email list let me know and ill forward you the deets, i just typed the words. Post ID: cinderella 09/25/09 16:36:32 I've been writing this whole time it's in a different section. Post ID: cinderella 09/25/09 17:07:33 so good i’m curious about the hockney apparitions a lot of bolanos stuff is also like, meant to get at your subconcious 53 brain waves, yknow? so like, its interesting thats who was coming to mind for you and cool. report back after the skating rink. that's slow moving water. Post ID: cinderella 09/25/09 17:08:51 eat pizza attached to freaking balloons every freaking day so hard though Post ID: cinderella 09/26/09 19:54:31 tell em the irony is Post ID: cinderella 09/26/09 21:44:47 please stop talking to me you are scary Post ID: cinderella 09/27/09 17:29:17 going running in the rain. or through the rain. 54 Post ID: cinderella 09/28/09 00:56:08 oh lol its my dream to run the omnisphere projections at the museum of science think about it planets Post ID: cinderella 09/28/09 00:57:01 i would have liked to have hung with you Post ID: cinderella 09/28/09 09:34:06 make love not war Post ID: cinderella 09/29/09 19:46:35 no offense i am so glad i didn’t have to be around this Post ID: cinderella 09/29/09 19:52:42 i love New York. putter away, radiator putter. 55 Post ID: cinderella 09/29/09 19:58:55 i made him listen to it he heard nothing Post ID: cinderella 09/30/09 22:20:08 i totally dress like a gay dude there is no doubt about that whatsoever i am wearing: black jeans. white vans. a white t-shirt and over it a grey fitted v-neck wool sweater. and glasses. Post ID: cinderella 10/01/09 08:59:37 my union is changing its “aesthetic and feel” Post ID: cinderella 10/01/09 09:52:26 descartes and cervantes Post ID: cinderella 10/01/09 23:31:45 relax yourself girl Post ID: cinderella 10/02/09 13:02:28 holy moly there is water on the moon 56 Post ID: cinderella 10/05/09 13:13:19 this is what happens when people worry their lives away Post ID: cinderella 10/05/09 22:28:59 i bumped into my ex on a date with two of the girls he cheated on me with at the french consulate it seemed as though they had no idea who i was or that he had slept with either of them independently then i walked 80 blocks. the guy has sex problems anyway true story. upon walking, i decided: good for him, the sly man. someone once said never trust a thought that doesn’t come while walking. i am going to adopt that more. my feet hurt. it took 2 hours. Post ID: cinderella 10/05/09 22:29:48 oh the best part was what i said when i was leaving. i said and quote verbatim, “i have to go, marble makes me nervous” Post ID: cinderella 10/05/09 23:04:03 drinking whiskey, trying to learn how to play the piano Post ID: cinderella 10/07/09 07:37:17 story of my strife\book coming 57 Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 19:14:01 that you are having trouble believing in the good in hu- manity post here. if you are so fucking tired Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 19:35:22 cool brecht brevity Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 20:16:27 we’re gonna need a bigger heart Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 20:21:13 i know i just felt like it Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 20:43:45 52 Guinness World Records Post ID: cinderella 10/08/09 20:50:50 this prose poem is fucking beautiful that i read. Post ID: cinderella 10/09/09 11:22:19 This is the perfect weather for 70s UK folk Post ID: cinderella 10/10/09 09:19:39 i’m a writer it is hard but good 58 Post ID: cinderella 10/11/09 10:07:18 and sang you belong to me into the phone, apparently we are going to get breakfast Post ID: cinderella 10/11/09 Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 14:18:31 i wonder if andy warhol would have found her contro- versial and fabulous or been like take this book Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 14:23:32 hey man, what’s with you? Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 18:50:01 i want no part of it Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 21:34:35 i mean i do but i might keep you waiting Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 22:20:49 graduation in 62 days and counting 59 Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 22:26:12 this happens to me too they are usually on my head Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 22:39:24 moonstruck is on hulu there is good in the world Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 23:07:33 It’s cosmos moon Post ID: cinderella 10/15/09 23:42:16 reading poulins new french translation so exciting Post ID: cinderella 10/16 /09 10:35:25 i am finding out what the exact deal is on monday 60 Post ID: cinderella 10/16 /09 12:54:50 c+ Post ID: cinderella 10/16 /09 13:48:32 I’ve been worrying about my ovulation as we speak,actually Post ID: cinderella 10/16 /09 14:32:27 june carter cash is my idol shes always cheerful and looks beautiful and is wicked smaht and talented i love her so much dont want an autoharp though those sufis are so ill i like the mountain dulcimer best i bet gotta play them irl to see Post ID: cinderella 10/16 /09 15:42:35 invisible cities is also so good too Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 15:51:43 i take three subways to a train i take for an hour i am very tired from it but done in 61 days 61 Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 15:52:52 That’s to school to work i ride a bike or walk into man- hattan or down the street in bk depending on which office i have to go i take two subways Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 16:04:30 bring back oranges Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 16:15:45 Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 17:08:23 i know it’s true i got it so bad Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 23:13:58 in the head i am in the heart in the hands man 62 Post ID: cinderella 10/16/09 23:41:02 Post ID: cinderella 10/17/09 21:18:54 Brunette ambition Post ID: cinderella 10/17/09 23:37:56 i hated when you did this this summer and i still hate it now Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 11:38:12 did you know the moon is in Sag? 63 Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 12:53:43 i think i’ve been looking at too much elizabethan art Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 13:10:15 a yoke it was a yoke i am sorry sunnyside up Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 16:13:32 i wouldn’t say pride has anything to do with it for me words like: relentless pathological fanatical obsessive on a mission chip on my shoulder uncontrollable urge to write workaholic are probably the most accurate Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 16:56:43 i probably can’t help but will try to point to some self- referential self-concerned anecdote as usual anyway 64 Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 17:06:34 i saw myself outside myself and aged 100 years Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 17:12:03 i will totes play the kazoo sometime Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 17:59:15 It’d be like that but somebody would be holding a book up for me to read and some publisher would chime in like those angel stars talking from the movie it’s a won- derful life in the sky and say, we had no idea women could write like that Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 18:02:54 i know im googling like crazy for it you know what else? i just want to be half june carter cash and half mary from its a wonderful life when i grow up 65 Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 22:08:17 never ending math Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 22:51:16 that really unecessarily epic Levi’s commercial Post ID: cinderella 10/19/09 23:58:26 YOU CAN’T WEAR PINK Post ID: cinderella 66 Post ID: cinderella 10/20/09 18:32:34 SOMEONE TAGGED ‘FAITH’ ON MY APART- MENT DOOR Post ID: cinderella 10/20/09 19:30:52 I’ve been saying serenitynow all week at everything par- ticularly when i took the trash out this morning THESE ARE TERRIBLE Post ID: cinderella 10/20/09 21:04:22 self sabotaging hadron collider? Post ID: cinderella 10/22/09 02:08:53 i am toasting to all of you Post ID: cinderella 10/22/09 05:19:55 it occurs to me i should say all fiction probably involves quantum mechanics on some level so does music though i guess the addition of the folklore then negates the q.m. because most folklore is either impossible or improbable its 5 am somebody read this Post ID: cinderella 10/25/09 21:12:01 i am writing a novel its fulltime all the time. not tonight 67 Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 15:01:20 it depends on who’s asking, these days Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 16:27:09 You’ve outdone yourself on this Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 16:47:08 I’m going as the road less traveled for Halloween. Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 17:59:34 tennis with ghandi Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 20:13:37 i hear its like all 18th century shit and impossible Post ID: cinderella 10/27/09 20:23:09 i love his melon so Post ID: cinderella 10/28/09 22:08:57 i’m listening to the congos and drinking sam smith i have jedi socks on 68 Post ID: cinderella 10/29/09 20:37:58 There’s a ghost sitting at the end of my bed while im typing this Post ID: cinderella 10/30/09 21:02:25 who is more accurate than me? most people Post ID: cinderella 10/31/09 18:09:18 walk around with a thing of hummus and chips eating it and when people ask what you are shrug and keep eating Post ID: cinderella 11/01/09 01:10:58 i posted this in the future like i won’t make that last post for another 8 minutes Post ID: cinderella 11/02/09 19:14:35 welcome to the bright side of the moon. Post ID: cinderella 11/03/09 15:14:46 we are never talking about this again i hate food. 69 Post ID: cinderella 11/04/09 14:06:20 bar: the space used to be where billie holiday used to sing. Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:23:59 grace paley has a short story about the time she tried to work at a russian ballet and the ballerina’s dance involved falling into a pot of soup and making the stage colorful best lines from that story: “if you can’t sit, girlie, go stand on a street corner. and thats how i got unemployed in novelty street wear” Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:30:24 “two ears, three lucks” 70 Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:33:42 they’re not your husband by ray carver what planet am i on Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:40:32 they’re not your husband by ray carver Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:41:29 Post ID: cinderella 11/08/09 19:55:33 sam cooke Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 10:50:28 i’m going to a panel on czech translated literature *gig- gles nerdily 71 Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 11:29:42 WHAT THE HELL HOW DOES THIS EVEN EXIST HOW SOMEBODY MAKE IT MAKE SENSE THE PARADIGM OF MY REALITY HAS BEEN FOREVER SIFTED TEN DEGREES WEST I LOATHE TOO MUCH HOT WEATHER WHY HOW CAN THIS BE Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 11:31:07 what i meant to say was if you don’t like old green day you have no heart. Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 11:31:39 the hills are alive with the sound of me, bitches Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 12:25:30 i want to believe so bad Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 12:25:47 This is a race. Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 15:56:12 72 Post ID: cinderella 11/09/09 17:08:11 she BROUGHT IT Post ID: cinderella 11/10/09 00:04:04 make art everyday. be art. Post ID: cinderella 11/10/09 23:38:19 new day, new chance to BRING IT Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 00:29:22 one of my classmates has some kind of calculus degree and he just like wins everything he wins everything all time its allcalculus guy got picked by your favorite writer to be her apprentice, calculus guy is dating the hot girl, calculus guy has a car. 73 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 01:25:01 le sigh Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 02:10:36 raeggeton into the future Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 02:17:50 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 12:02:43 turntable? 74 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 12:34:09 oh sweet somebody just make the plans ill show up eventually Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 12:35:57 i decided to include it in with the partially completed novel in my thesis upon re-reading i had no idea how many times i used the word i i really am too i-centric this year i wonder if it’ll stop when i am not finishing school? should i go to therapy? Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 12:52:10 not a bad choice. Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 13:11:39 greenpoint is nice but don’t breathe the air, technically newtowne creek had the worst oil spill next to alaska sometimes the pressure builds up and pot hole covers burst off the ground from it and you cant farm there i mean you can, but its toxic Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 13:40:44 1st person close confess narrative it’s an experiment actu- ally i always write about other people 75 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:01:45 ABSURDISTS MOVEMENTS ARE PUNX any- body? anyone? Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:02:21 this was oulipian Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:11:28 does he have a beret and a long cigarette? Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:28:09 brought it. Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:29:17 i just said, “o u mad” to myself that’s not in line with bringing it. Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:30:40 It’s like yeah you’re always right about like life but stop yelling at me. i wanted to say to this old guy who scares me. i wanted to cry about the flood. so here’s the things about charles wright 76 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:37:21 no you didn’t we are talking about cool stuff i know but he uses those words in jest, robspierrean is a word he’s never used irl only in the essay i spelled that wrong see we’re in the same boat i will ask him today though Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:44:01 then i started studying linguistics and lost reality Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 14:45:25 i mean i disagree but okay Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 20:50:32 leave the place a better place both. Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 21:08:09 i flirted with this dude for like three years then today he reads on some blog about a part of one of my books getting a chapter published in a mag in the uk, good for me, but so fucking now the guy I flirted with for so many years is all oh hey. But I think buddy if you weren’t in when i was a little guy you can’t be in now so go to hell 77 Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 21:39:2 i just don’t think the entire situation is very nice of him and i dont like not nice people. Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 21:52:17 like a distinct, strong, scent for example? Post ID: cinderella 11/12/09 21:52:47 this is happening my eyes are hurty from the home-work perhaps you’ve heard of my Sade band: candles in the bathtub. Post ID: cinderella 11/13/09 18:08:04 i think i make up love in that, i think i make things to be more serious than they are in my head why is this and what do i do about it Post ID: cinderella 11/14/09 13:03:58 i am i am he’s boring Post ID: cinderella 11/14/09 13:11:12 in a very short period of time i’ve actually realized 78 Post ID: cinderella 11/14/09 21:57:01 i’m too tired i am so tired of being inefficient at life Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 01:38:10 i love it when you’re sweet on me Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 02:46:06 in ya dreams, pal Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 03:25:37 you deserve a parade too? Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 04:02:48 can’t i’m fresh out of pure moods right now Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 13:58:42 he doesn’t want to date himself, probably 79 Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 19:17:17 compulsive emailing Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 19:18:41 feel love don’t consume it Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 19:30:56 he doesn’t like me he likes that i have a notebook and books next to me, probably Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 19:34:43 my house smells like cookies and zeppelin and more homework Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 21:55:25 every time i listen to stand up comedy instead of music when running it makes me feel better feel better Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 22:29:36 thinking about eating dinner again Post ID: cinderella 11/15/09 23:44:49 making a mixtape 80 Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 01:03:26 the bidding to meet cher in las vegas is up to 3,100 i’ve been outpriced Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 02:25:12 omg apparently the topped thread on the cher fanboard is “sailor hat ideas” right now Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 09:51:51 Yates two he says Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 11:53:24 okay so what i did was take the first couple of poems from pulitzer winner/laureate charles wright’s new work sestets and mashed them together below. To- morrow- the metaphysics of the quotidian was what he was after. a little dew on the sunrise grass. if you don’t shine you are darkness. the future is merciless. everyone’s names enscribed on the flyleaf of the book of snow. -The Gospel According to Somebody else - comfort them all, lord, their odd shapes and their standard whatever. -Future Tense- If you can’t delight in the everyday you have no future here, and if you can, you don’t either. -Cowboy Up- there comes a 81 time in one’s life when one wants time, a lot of time, with inanimate things. not ultimate inanimate things, but beautiful wise thighs. thats wishful thinking cow- boy. but the world’s weight, and the world’s welter, speak big talk and big confusion. -i utilized erasure by removing certain lines from the poems. then i was go- ing to use the N + 7 method: The N+7 procedure, in- vented by Jean Lescure of Oulipo, involves replacing each noun in a text with the seventh one following it in a dictionary. You can enter an English text and 15 alternative texts will be generated, from N+1, which replaces each noun with the next one in the diction- ary, to N+15, which takes the 15th noun following. its a simple algorithm. i decided instead of imbedding a riddle to wright’s work that i would simply assign certain characters numeric value. i did this because i think subtext, as hindsight, is 20/20. i like evens so a = 2, b= 4, c = 6, q =34 and so forth. i can do that because it’s art. -if each letter goes by two in this sen- tence the numeric value of this sentence is- = 1,340 if you then add the numbers 1 3 4 and 0 together you get 8, which is the luckiest number in chinese numer- ology. the astrological numerology prediction for the number 8 today if your birthday is today is as follows: “As per name numerology, If you are born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th, of any month, know that you are ruled by 8 and the Planet Saturn. You are also ruled by Saturn and 8, if your Life Number or Name Number is 8. If your Life number alone is 8, you will attain to the qualities of No. 8 in due course of your life, and undergo many sufferings. If your day or name number is 8, then you suffer from your early days through out 82 your life” that is not a very cheerful prediction and so we move on, it doesnt even really make sense anyway because today is the 16th, so then the number today is 7 anyway, which is neat that it matches the n + 7 meth- od, sort of but not really, again, subtext, its all relative, etc. so, using the given number chart a = 2 b =4 and so forth, i have highlighted certain letters from the charles wright erasure to put together a poem in one sentence for my friend ryan zeterberg. my experiment with the paint was problematic, however, because af- ter the first run of letters to find the first words within words of the erasure to make up the sentence i had in mind, i ran out of letters, and then had to backtrack and thus couldn’t run the cherry-picking in a linear fashion. eh, its art, whatever. so basically not even in order i went through the erasure and highlighted the letters within the text out of order as so as to see if i could find all the letters in the sentence i had in mind within the erasure. the number for the sentence i had in mind according to the letters in the charles wright erasure according to the math chart i made up in round numbers should be as follows: 1, 196 which is then in numerology: 8 its also fucking 8 which is insane if you want to cheat, the sentence is below this is what it looked like to out of order pull the letters to then figure out what the number was, again, each number assigned an indi-vidual quanitity via the evens chart: Tomo-R-row- the me-T--A-phys *I- cs *O-f the qu-O- T-I--D-i-A-n was w *H- -A-t he was after. a *little dew on the su-N-rise grass. if you don’t shine you *A- re D-ark-N-ess. the fu- 83 tu-R-E- i-S- merciless. everyone’s names enscribe *D- -O- n the fl-Y-leaf *O-f the book of snow. -The Gospel According to Somebody else - comfort them all, lord, their odd sha-P-E-s and their standard hair. -Future Tense- If you *C-an’-T- delight in the everyday you ha *V- -E- no F-U- ture here, -A- nd if y-O-u can, you don’t ei *T- he-R-. -Cowboy Up- the *R- -E- co *M- -E- -S- -A- ti-M-e I *N- -O- ne’s life when one wants time, a lot of time, with inanimate things. not *U- ltimate i-N-anima-T-e things, but beautiful wise thighs. thats wishful thinking cowb-O-y. b-U-t the world’s weight, and the world’s welter, speak big talk and big con-F- usion. meantime, i gotta go handle some biz stay love nicolle in the east village 2009 in november see you at new years. Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 14:53:38 this is sort of like what i want out of life but not at all Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 18:33:01 this was a few weeks ago 84 Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 18:45:22 please take me to your observatory sometime. Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 19:18:31 collected shorts of jg ballard aka 600 pages of the moon and the gutter Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 19:19:34 we can call each other and watch it if you want Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 19:58:19 is it the one on modernist brutalism in municipal con- crete structures? Post ID: cinderella 11/16/09 23:56:51 thank god honey this week has been so hard 85 Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 11:17:58 i want to put actual sleigh bells on my bike so bad it would sound so pretty all the time Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 11:18:38 glad you’re alive Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 11:21:02 i am building this boat my own damn self. Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 15:27:13 punk rock grown-ups are 4eva Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 15:28:00 he is such a babe both in the heart and the head and in the bod and so that’s three Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 18:48:02 for the thousandth time i just like him as a human and not even that much Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 19:20:10 descartes would say “it’s a table because i say it’s a table” 86 Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 20:44:25 a redemption narrative Post ID: cinderella 11/17/09 22:35:57 i can’t believe not one person quoted wayne’s world Post ID: cinderella 11/18/09 18:32:51 a heavily sooty thicket Post ID: cinderella 11/19/09 00:28:19 i think it’d be cool in the world if people read. Post ID: cinderella 11/20/09 14:37:50 i slept with a meteorologist for a while he was always all global warming is inevitable blah blah kiss you 87 Post ID: cinderella 11/20/09 15:46:56 i like i dont get it Post ID: cinderella 11/21/09 14:42:30 no you Post ID: cinderella 11/21/09 15:22:43 thought i’d share in the vent a little one word: fine. Post ID: cinderella 11/21/09 16:36:33 i generally go via the way clark gable carried scarlet up the stairs, is the best way to travel. Post ID: cinderella 11/23/09 11:16:28 where is my groove and how do i get it back news at 11 alright whatever 88 Post ID: cinderella 11/23/09 11:19:37 oh hello heres the thing one has to consider with the mc- carthy his ability to sustain tension and torture for pro- longed periods of the book, say hundreds of fucking pages, makes one wonder: writer or sociopath. ie when we are creating art, no-matter the medium, weprobably must on some level enter into a certain part of the tension (in this case) we are creating, exploring and expounding upon. ergo, mccarthy probably getsa kick out of disturbing you. and that is perhaps an example of a predatory nature at work? which sucks? Post ID: cinderella 11/23/09 15:31:45 also she is very tall and i’m not that either. Post ID: cinderella 11/24/09 16:37:33 It’s also an example of me and my poor judgement ie i think people in the world are like, “how bout those red sox?” and I’ll pop in with like, “oh hey guys did you know that something obscure which has nothing to do with 89 what you were talking about?” and everyone’s like, “why is she in her own head so much” Post ID: cinderella 11/24/09 18:39:05 grace paley. seek refuge in commiserating about our truths. Post ID: cinderella 11/26/09 15:09:31 you have the best life ever Post ID: cinderella 11/26/09 20:47:05 I’m open to falling from grace Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 01:05:50 i love her ten years ago Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 01:08:56 anderson cooper brought it today. 90 Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 01:17:53 i think when i sell this book into a movie i’ll say the only way it can happen is if 50 cent is in the movie Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 02:08:00 i don’t know what cool means Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 03:12:16 he’s hot when he’s not acting like an ass i think, actually. if that helps anything here Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 03:14:40 you had me at hello you lost me at convinced Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 03:15:47 well hells bells Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 03:26:42 i think there’s a balance i’m still working on it 91 Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 04:02:37 i would have typed that better but this eden ivy around me is pulling a lot it’s hard to reach Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 13:28:52 you can get one potato for like 40 cents which has more nutrition and is more filling than a package of ramen Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 13:35:39 oooh I’m dating one person in one of those bands Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 13:50:35 i am taking my hell elsewhere. Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 13:51:50 i am chewing nicorette right now it is good i am dizzy whee Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 15:47:25 i applied for health insurance. Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 16:48:20 keep the faith Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 17:31:45 i care. 92 Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 18:31:19 it was a quote on tv just then Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 19:08:52 may your life never be boring -chinese proverb Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 20:18:57 retire on a strawberry farm Post ID: cinderella 11/27/09 21:01:26 an train that runs under a christmas tree in a warm house ten years from now. this year just sleigh bells to put on my bike. Post ID: cinderella 11/29/09 22:25:47 I would wish for for three cute cartoon bats to fly around me at all times everywhere I go 93 Post ID: cinderella 11/29/09 23:21:50 oooh so many hot draconian metal guys Post ID: cinderella 11/29/09 23:38:21 the day is called the plea is called arnold, hey Post ID: cinderella 11/30/09 23:23:43 that poem the other one wasn’t for you Post ID: cinderella 11/30/09 23:27:44 you people with your punctuation and your inability to expand. Post ID: cinderella 11/30/09 23:29:49 i am everything she isn’t and by she i mean everything else in the rest of your life. other Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:13:22 i would like to wear clear christmas lights over a black spandex dress at a party all lit up this winter I’d just be an effervescent glow of party. Guess I’d need some kind of waterproof battery pack though. Which is annoying. 94 Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:16:56 friend in the blech Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:28:04 axiom parallel Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:29:18 i am the pudgiest ballerina Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:37:01 you are a paper snowflake Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 12:54:26 i am so nervous for my dance recital tomorrow night Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 13:09:01 i can’t argue you on this you’re ultimately right let’s blame someone else such as george bush, satan whoever Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 13:10:26 i was hungover when they were doing registration so i had to take dance as my art elective all semester 95 Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 13:23:01 thanks picture an interpretive dance of the ugly duckling story but without the swan part Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 13:41:27 do you ever do things that require sitting for extended periods of time? we can have typing dates as a writer I sit a lot Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 13:46:06 or should i say years of failing Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 18:26:29 one time i caught a jar in mid-air while on a ladder and didn’t fall but nobody was around to see it Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 19:37:36 i will shout bad poetics at you for an hour? 96 Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 23:01:39 off and on Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 23:04:34 i like that she sews all her own costumes Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 23:26:20 bout joan miro paintings? anybody anyone Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 23:54:14 no prob let me know if you change your mind on the miro paintings Post ID: cinderella 12/01/09 23:56:01 travis barker walked by me on rivington last week he looked wicked sad so i smiled at him then he smiled back Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 00:02:14 im going to play skiball apparently Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 16:51:55 times heartbreak Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 17:08:18 heart urchin, more commonly known as sea urchin are 97 also called aristotles lantern because he was the first to write down what they looked like on the insides. which was soft innards, despite its hard, prickly shell. the lantern, is then, according to aristotle, all heart. Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 17:15:12 somedays i think we could levitate in bed somedays you make my stomache full of dread, woe. Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 17:22:04 someone posted from italy in italian on my blog what Post ID: cinderella 12/02/09 17:44:38 apples have no package Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 10:34:20 WE MELTED ALL OUR METAL BANDS TO MAKE POTS AND PANS Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 11:41:08 that pic isn’t the best but god he is so oddly beautiful Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 11:42:36 you’re rather likable lately 98 Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 11:47:44 i don’t like cilantro i will throw a spoon at cilantro. Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 12:36:27 if i were taller i would wear one Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 12:38:18 plaid is amazing with a faux fur hat Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 13:01:12 stet the ampersand. Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 13:03:46 i don’t care, give me the gold shiny dress Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 13:05:16 i am on the porch of a cafe editing my novel. my novel. ew. 99 Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 16:15:28 blind in my left eye headache right now Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 16:17:32 oh that sounds great! i am reading from my forthcoming indie press chapbook that night but will surely go after Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 17:37:11 let’s trade i have some good art openings coming up Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 18:23:09 me yelling at me: do your homework Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 18:59:01 someone validate my existence 100 Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 19:04:31 it’s a line from my novel that rules that you guys like it thanks Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 20:43:23 it’s not period related take me for example Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 20:45:53 this orange fucking sucks fuck this orange Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 21:02:55 keep up with that brutal melancholy Post ID: cinderella 12/03/09 21:26:49 still in love Post ID: cinderella 12/04/09 11:28:10 peace to your castle i love androgyny Post ID: cinderella 12/04/09 19:32:40 i think i will go dressed in body paint silver as a snowflake 101 Post ID: cinderella 12/04/09 19:40:38 so upset i need a blue or green or red popsicle so bad right now. But not an orange or purple one fuck that. Post ID: cinderella 12/04/09 20:35:24 i had a dream last night me and dan were walking at an intersection and he was having a panic attack and kept saying ‘we can’t cross’ ‘don’t cross’ it lasted like two hours Post ID: cinderella 12/04/09 21:24:04 wait months not years i mean Post ID: cinderella 12/05/09 19:53:53 oooh this reminds me of a friend of mine who wrote this concerto and then he used copper wire and built the wire on the wall with hooks to go with the con- certo or something and then he painted the wire with heat conducting paint and then he stood on a ladder and played the concerto by touching the heat con- ducting paint that was on the wires that were arranged to make music of the concerto. took up a whole gym- nasium, the ladder he was on was the sliding kind like in a library and there he was sliding back and forth playing this concerto he’d written in paint and wire on this huge wall it was his master’s thesis at MIT he’s a waiter. 102 Post ID: cinderella 12/05/09 20:11:52 identical to clarissa explains it all Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:16:44 i built a snowman Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:32:41 i will be everywhere in the wind at once Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:36:04 really? i love flying i love that its a pain the ass i love that it’s so archaic i love every part of it Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:37:44 i got stuck at fort worth texas once i wrote a few pages there because like it was called fort worth. i was scared though because all these cowboy hat and boots tall big gut guys were just like walking around. It was only a 3 hour wait though it was fine. Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:42:46 TONIGHT me and two gentlemen will be reading at an event it costs 6 dollars to see us and i am very sorry about that i dont even get the money if you would like to come to this 103 Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 12:44:13 hey if anybody wants to learn how to clean out and rebuild a bottom bracket at Times Up bike collective today in Brooklyn I am volunteering there and that is what I will be doing with my bottom bracket Post ID: cinderella 12/06/09 13:12:03 can i get some raw data with these fries? Post ID: cinderella 12/07/09 16:58:36 oh he was barefoot and humming in my rock festival all night last night that sounds like a hippie thing carry on Post ID: cinderella 12/07/09 16:58:56 you guys read the new ryan ridge? Post ID: cinderella 12/07/09 19:46:04 I’m turning into a mineral. such as a purple quartz crystal. Post ID: cinderella 12/07/09 20:35:34 singularity, imminent. just a thought. Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 18:33:55 i had lunch with a famous translator today he told me i had blue pen ink on my cheek 104 Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 18:40:35 so it’s like if he chokes me in bed but then wants me to spoon him twenty minutes later that means he’s still mad at his ex-girlfriend, right? Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 18:50:34 hold onto my hips they’re like reclining chairs Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 18:55:54 oh wait it’s the 5th element Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 21:41:24 will you be my boyfriend then still too Post ID: cinderella 12/09/09 21:54:16 i’m writing an article referencing when jim morrison wrote a thank you note to wallace fowlie who was a rim- baud translator and french scholar basically saying thank you for being a translator. hence the doors were influenced by wallace fowlie. Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 13:20:02 I am 23 there is time. Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 14:16:49 they’re not your husband by ray carver 105 Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 17:43:44 don’t ever stop. Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 18:01:39 make me a sandwich Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 18:36:15 i mean go for it everybody else lies to me Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 23:13:39 i am the irish goodbye Post ID: cinderella 12/12/09 23:56:00 are hightops on girls adorable or annoying? Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 11:19:59 that was an attempt at english Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 11:35:41 no but in a month or so i will have an answer to this. Which like defines my life feeling in general. Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 12:11:22 curry in my scramble serenity now 106 Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 12:28:18 totally a love him or hate him author Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 17:09:33 it looks so cold and sunny in oregon right now according to this Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 17:53:58 once in a lifetime dadaaaanaa days go by hum hum hum hummy hum hum Post ID: cinderella 12/13/09 23:03:34 Insane angel. Post ID: cinderella 12/14/09 15:55:42 such a fine piece of fiction. Post ID: cinderella 12/15/09 04:02:27 less marriage more ‘zine awesome Post ID: cinderella 12/15/09 14:59:04 that sucked what else 107 Post ID: cinderella 12/15/09 15:13:58 oh i love carbon footprints Post ID: cinderella 12/15/09 15:15:09 i just had crazy nightmares and didn’t go to a party i was getting an award at Post ID: cinderella 12/15/09 22:24:24 by default i think is a better way to put it Post ID: cinderella 12/16/09 04:32:48 i had my last class today Post ID: cinderella 12/16/09 17:52:51 my ex said meet me on the steps of the met but i said no i cant today Post ID: cinderella 12/16/09 18:06:48 okay any girl that like makes you do anything is lame-o city Post ID: cinderella 12/16/09 18:11:44 the void doesn’t care the void continues with or with- out you 108 Post ID: cinderella 12/17/09 10:47:48 she’s wonderful and they really shouldn’t have spin it like this is my opinion Post ID: cinderella 12/17/09 15:16:38 will he break my heart y/n? Post ID: cinderella 12/17/09 20:44:18 we all just, we all just Post ID: cinderella 12/17/09 22:24:04 i’m going at a slower pace Post ID: cinderella 12/21/09 14:58:15 NICE TO SEE ALL YER EYEROLLY SNOBBY MISERABLE SOURPUSSES Post ID: cinderella 12/22/09 02:40:46 i could have nestled and slept in your armpit, i could have stood Post ID: cinderella 12/22/09 10:47:48 i think he’s disappointed in general. 109 Post ID: cinderella 12/22/09 16:05:50 -i mean just everything except like two things Post ID: cinderella 12/22/09 18:43:05 in previous years i would have fought you harder on this but i just don’t have it in me anymore Post ID: cinderella 12/25/09 22:46:44 the hometown bar scene. Post ID: cinderella 12/27/09 22:57:57 official take as long as you want to read a book Post ID: cinderella 12/28/09 01:23:57 she was going to the roof presumably to smoke Post ID: cinderella 12/29/09 19:18:56 lemme break it down for you one time. One time. Post ID: cinderella 12/29/09 20:19:08 le sigh Post ID: cinderella 12/30/09 20:09:37 richard d james was one of the best 20 albums made in our lifetime 110 Post ID: cinderella 12/31/09 16:29:32 because see the sentiment being expressed was of a ro- mantic nature nevermind Post ID: cinderella 01/03/10 01:48:53 put your hands on me. Post ID: cinderella 01/04/10 12:29:46 your new name is can Post ID: cinderella 01/04/10 18:50:37 facts about mt everest Post ID: cinderella 01/04/10 19:34:36 i don’t know anything about space Post ID: cinderella 01/07/10 14:01:47 i most certainly do Post ID: cinderella 01/07/10 14:03:30 you will outlast all the earthquakes notwithstanding a misunderstanding about feeling feelings? 111 Post ID: cinderella 01/13/10 10:17:25 frosting Post ID: cinderella 01/13/10 10:23:23 The word ‘wife’ for instance, comes from the Saxon word for ‘weaver’, because the woman was expected to weave the cloth. Post ID: cinderella 01/13/10 10:28:59 diva house music Post ID: cinderella 01/13/10 18:53:44 oh wait the non literary one won darn it Post ID: cinderella 01/17/10 21:01:34 i invented basil flavored ice cream in a dream the other night Post ID: cinderella 01/18/10 15:17:47 i recently tried to poll dance a heating pipe bad idea Post ID: cinderella 01/18/10 17:18:37 i love pretty woman so much 112 Post ID: cinderella 01/21/10 13:08:45 final draft where its at Post ID: cinderella 01/21/10 13:16:34 loathsome Post ID: cinderella 01/21/10 13:20:23 i mean really it encompasses the modern woman Post ID: cinderella 01/21/10 16:09:43 thank you for this informative report back though i find your conclusions seemingly thorough i must admit i feel the need to venture toward this possible abyss of awesome on my own volition. call it a need to learn the hard way. Post ID: cinderella 01/24/10 11:10:20 a funny thing a truly strange thing Post ID: cinderella 01/24/10 19:07:46 Don’t vote me in charge I’m telling you now don’t Post ID: cinderella 01/24/10 19:15:30 Maugham 113 Post ID: cinderella 01/25/10 18:38:24 I have a date that I didn’t get via the internet Post ID: cinderella 01/26/10 18:57:19 be a lighthouse Post ID: cinderella 01/26/10 22:40:25 they send out signals for how to navigate home Post ID: cinderella 01/26/10 22:41:45 being objective is not christian save ireland Post ID: cinderella 01/27/10 13:14:40 you can make it yourself with cloth and elbow grease but its wicked expensive to make Post ID: cinderella 01/27/10 14:04:42 my prom date was the prom king and i wasn’t the prom queen true story Post ID: cinderella 01/27/10 14:05:11 educate thyself 114 Post ID: cinderella 01/28/10 14:19:25 we’re doing a ray bradbury dandelion wine tattoo refer- encing on my left rib this weekend. Post ID: cinderella 01/28/10 14:29:10 why yes i am wearing black how did you know Post ID: cinderella 01/28/10 17:42:38 I am a sensitive artist. Post ID: cinderella 01/28/10 18:59:09 do you ever have dreams of the palace you lived in during a previous life? Post ID: cinderella 01/29/10 00:32:57 punctuation is pretentious and dare I say dishonest 115 Post ID: cinderella 01/29/10 00:43:41 when’s yer life starting Post ID: cinderella 01/29/10 20:48:38 doin some Yeats all week, doin some Yeats Post ID: cinderella 01/30/10 10:47:11 wait wait you’re really reading virgil right now? Post ID: cinderella 01/30/10 10:51:50 i hated him for a long time then i grew to love him Post ID: cinderella 01/31/10 01:27:59 actually he ripped it right out of the wall which was so dreamy. sigh. Post ID: cinderella 01/31/10 22:27:53 you know what would be so dope? if sex DIDN’T sell Post ID: cinderella 02/01/10 20:57:16 go back harder, look at the greeks. 116 Post ID: cinderella 02/01/10 21:02:43 i mind if you do Post ID: cinderella 02/01/10 22:19:50 i mean diane fucking williams for the last 50 years for example Post ID: cinderella 02/01/10 23:19:07 i do not want to high five you Post ID: cinderella 02/02/10 15:57:53 use your imagination to imagine me telling you to fuck off Post ID: cinderella 02/02/10 16:02:26 standard spoken word cadence Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 12:14:35 infrarealist-like Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 12:19:58 my final drafts are god-damn pristine, thanks. 117 Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 14:56:41 the comma’s been a suggestion since ‘91 Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 15:04:50 they had spanish onions who gives a shit Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 15:11:37 “people” who put “unnecessary” quotation marks around “stuff ” Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 15:12:48 different space case entirely Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 15:37:40 i’d be me i just would have done it differently Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 16:17:21 no you can get it back there are magicians Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 16:38:27 i slept on the sidewalk of electric avenue in venice once it was good 118 Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 17:02:29 a handfull of hell Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 17:11:50 heidi montag is following my friends fake twitter account Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 18:23:54 walk me through the meadow of your kindness Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 19:09:12 it’s really the region of space from which nothing, includ- ing light can escape. oh wait no that’s a black hole. Post ID: cinderella 02/03/10 20:25:04 this heat are also two of the best words together. Post ID: cinderella 02/04/10 13:11:42 oh AND fyi during the time of all this agro posting i was editing my friends super dainty sestets thanks like cotton candy sky Post ID: cinderella 02/04/10 16:57:15 sin. his eyes are the color of sin. 119 Post ID: cinderella 02/05/10 10:07:13 23 page job application. Post ID: cinderella 02/05/10 13:12:18 we don’t have a love you moron Post ID: cinderella 02/06/10 23:39:25 actually i find it quite vulgar and invasive Post ID: cinderella 02/07/10 01:07:19 nobody worry i’ll just be drinking on the floor its fine Post ID: cinderella 02/10/10 19:28:43 Saint Clement of Alexandria: On Beards Post ID: cinderella 02/12/10 13:50:53 spinderella cut it up one time Post ID: cinderella 02/13/10 00:57:58 the g is for gets it 120 Post ID: cinderella 02/16/10 11:08:44 70s shaggy kinda meets southern 50s belle Post ID: cinderella 02/16/10 11:30:37 If you like the second joan snyder I bet you’d like cy twombly Post ID: cinderella 02/16/10 21:35:35 i still believe Post ID: cinderella 02/18/10 18:25:40 minimalism all the way let shit go let love in Post ID: cinderella 02/18/10 19:43:00 the guy not that guy Post ID: cinderella 02/19/10 12:31:50 luminous 121 Post ID: cinderella 02/19/10 12:47:21 if i could remember any of it i’d say you probably didn’t miss much. This was the thing I wrote that I was talking about well some of it actually anyways: “The book is called Rimbaud and Morrison: The Rebel as Poet, and was published by Duke University Press in 1994. The impetus for the work was a letter that Jim Morrison wrote in 1968 to a Rimbaud translator and French scholar at Duke University named Wallace Fowlie. The letter was a thank-you note to the translator. It read, in part, “I don’t read French that easily. I am a rock singer and your book travels around with me.” The book touches on the influence Rimbaud’s words had on Morrison lyrically and I ran uptown to the Philoctetes Center for the evening’s event talk on poets with this in- formation in mind: Wallace Fowlie inspired the Doors Already mentioned this. Post ID: cinderella 02/19/10 13:12:57 i like to come with the surprise triple play out of left field it’s my thing let me have my thing Post ID: cinderella 02/19/10 16:42:50 you know what’s cool that i found? theres a collection of short stories written by the writing staff of the twilight zone carol serling is the editor Post ID: cinderella 02/22/10 10:09:30 nobody listens to me anyway nor should they 122 Post ID: cinderella 02/22/10 16:35:58 this is not my beautiful house Post ID: cinderella 02/24/10 19:29:56 she fly Post ID: cinderella 02/24/10 20:27:26 would hug Post ID: cinderella 03/03/10 20:03:41 sentimental music me Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 09:56:53 i used to do this now i sleep through parties in my own house Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 09:57:53 agreeing to give a lecture and then forgetting about it Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 18:23:22 a dollar a poem 123 Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 20:15:48 there's a band eating in my kitchen right now actually but they are not pretentious they are hilarious gotta go we are having a party later bye Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 23:32:45 now they’re watching rap videos and giggling it is very cute Post ID: cinderella 03/08/10 23:36:51 i am excellent at being carried over my boyfriend’s shoul- der while passed out Post ID: cinderella 03/09/10 22:26:58 i’m making kiwi marmalade Post ID: cinderella 03/10/10 20:42:46 this poem is real 1-3-1 get hip holla Post ID: cinderella 03/10/10 21:48:14 he texted back with “what is ach” and what is “waiting for you” and i thought it was the most beautiful goddamn thing i’d ever read 124 Post ID: cinderella 03/10/10 21:53:32 reads like a soap opera Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 11:27:47 fred astaire was better than ginger rogers Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 12:04:34 celery negotiation Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 12:24:22 Your battles inspired me - not the obvious material bat- tles but those that were fought and won behind your forehead. -Joyce (1939) Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 12:25:42 that part i believe about the drinking Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 16:45:08 full of steroids, two kinds of painkillers, antibiotics, missing part of my jawbone, my tongue still complete- 125 ly paralyzed and a grapefruit swollen out of my face i still finished my column 6 hours before the deadline is that pretentious? Post ID: cinderella 03/11/10 18:11:59 she’s the quiet voice of a generation she just gets a hard time from people sometimes Post ID: cinderella 03/12/10 14:31:35 you’re the only one in the world that you care about Post ID: cinderella 03/13/10 12:19:21 the density of man Post ID: cinderella 03/22/10 23:09:25 next thing you know it’s like the lightpoles came to life Post ID: cinderella 04/15/10 17:14:09 i wish you safety and excellent times Post ID: cinderella 06/18/10 22:07:02 except the faith part, thanks for that part, guys 126 Post ID: cinderella 06/19/10 17:26:02 i tried to read the introduction to the odyssey recently and couldn’t it’s 200 pages of annoying which introductions sometimes are. Post ID: cinderella 06/20/10 14:51:53 Post ID: cinderella 06/21/10 14:49:30 i don’t actually like some of these perspectives by the way but the human heart is much more complicated than this simple rendering. Post ID: cinderella 06/21/10 14:49:32 i don't know the exact date but these things were writing that i wrote also. some a long time ago, some recently but all while i was typing all this other stuff. 127

Sunday, May 29, 2016

a clinical phobiac.
well that's karma. emt's saved my life on a few occasions, so, i thought i'd save some other people's.

Friday, May 27, 2016

strangers from the internet, harm/wrongful information. malpractice, domestic violence, malpractice, kathy bates in misery from the internet. a sense of why are we doing that. regular people do not leave notes in medical records which lead to innocent people getting the death penalty. bizarro.